Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
