At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
