You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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