you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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