Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
