its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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