Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
