It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
