Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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