Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
