I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
