Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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