as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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