at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
