last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
