Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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