it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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