maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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