I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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