I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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