watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We are two peas in an std pod
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
