Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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