i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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