His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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