I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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