Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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