A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
