I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just pee around me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
