Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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