You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
