Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
