Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
