he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
