If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
did i just pee glitter
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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