really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
