The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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