Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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