I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
