Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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