You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
