Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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