Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
