Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
