Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
