Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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