Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
two words...techno handjob
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize