Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize