I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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