if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
