Where is the hickey?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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