Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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