Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
