last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
