you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
